| The proper wording of the invitation itself and the names on the envelope can drive a person mad! Hopefully, this guideline can help. Most of this information was gathered from books, magazines and websites, then "Erma-rized." |
| Remember, these are just guidelines. The Protocol Police may come knocking at your door if you don't follow these formal guidelines, but I won't tell them if you won't. Ultimately, however you decide to address your invitations is up to you. Martha is way too busy catching up to come and ream your butt about it. If it is an extremely formal occasion then you should follow extremely formal guidelines and if it's a casual affair, I have no problem with using the nicknames of your guests on the envelopes. |
| Out of town envelopes should be sent out 6-8 weeks prior to the actual event. In town envelopes; 4-6 weeks before the actual event. Your caterer's need for a head count determines your RSVP date. The RSVP date should be 1-2 weeks prior to your food servers deadline. Please note my time requirements here. |
| Time Requirements |
| The Outer Envelope: First Line |
| The outer envelope should be addressed by hand, never a sticker. Computer calligraphy is pretty snazzy these days (and a lot cheaper) so it would pass...sorry, I don't do computer calligraphy. The return address should be on the back flap of your envelope. This one should also never be a sticker. Your stationer will usually include this in their charge for your invitations. |
| Mr. and Mrs. John Doe Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe Dr. and Mrs. John Doe Dr. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe Drs. John and Jane Doe or The Doctors Doe Mr. John Doe and Mr. Jack Smith Ms. Jill Doe and Ms. Jane Smith ...the word "and" should always be spelled out |
| The 1st line of the address is the title line. Formal first names should be used: Robert, not Bob-Alicia, not Lizzy, etc. This should also include the title: |
| Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss |
| The Honorable (Judge) The Reverend (Father) Rabbi Governor |
| Mayor Professor Lieutenant General |
| Full Titles are strongly suggested, but (shhh...) abbreviations are somewhat accepted. |
| The Outer Envelope: Married Couples |
| The Outer Envelope: Unmarried Couples Living Together |
| Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith or you can eliminate the "and" and list them on two seperate lines. The one with the closest relationship to you goes first or list the names alphabetically. |
| The Outer Envelope: Single, Widowed, Divorced, or Seperated |
| Miss- Under 18 or never married Ms.- Over 18 or divorced/seperated (always use the woman's name even if last name is still the married name Mrs.- Widowed with either their own first name or their husbands first name Mrs. Jane Doe or Mrs. John Doe (her preference) |
| The Outer Envelope: Children |
| Children should be omitted from the outer envelope if there is an inner envelope. "They" say never to use "and Family" even if an inner envelope is used. Children's names should be listed on the outer envelope in the 2nd and 3rd lines if needed. Titles for children are not necessary, but if you do use them, here are the guidelines: Mr. or Master Miss Messrs. John and Jack Doe (oldest 1st) Misses Jane and Jill Doe (oldest 1st) or just Jack, Jill, John, and Jane (Doe) Children over the age of 18 should receive a seperate invitation. |
| ENVELOPE ETTIQUETTE |